Food!

So its been a while now that I have been skipping meals, buying less nutritious food, eating smaller meals, and losing a bit of weight.  I haven't bought meat in months it seems.  I check prices and just walk to the bean section.  I've decided that eating meat when I eat out makes more sense.  You pay maybe a dollar extra for meat in a restaurant other eatery, as opposed to like six dollars a pound minimum for some kind of low grade meat.  Now of course NYC is really expensive, the highest in the country by far.  But that's I guess all part of it. 

In the last month I have been forced to really address these issues.  I have started looking at Food Pantries and finding ways to get food without paying for it.  I have not been dumpster diving as of yet, but others I know have been.  It is part of what the world is coming to it seems, even as we throw away millions of pounds of good food each year.  I have been really lucky that my mother has runs a community garden that gives its food to the needy.  I have been the recipient of bags of kale and other produce that have kept me healthy of late.  And that is no small thing.  Healthy food is expensive. 

But I have gotten to the point where enough is enough, I no longer can keep trying to spend money I do not have on food.  I spend my days trying to apply to jobs that don't seem even remotely interested in me, have few if any prospects at this point, and will possibly be homeless in just a couple weeks.  I have no place to turn for help in my situation.  Family, the government, neither really has the means to solve my income issues.  It is only up to me it seems, yet, resume after resume I am getting no where.

So Friday I applied for food stamps.  They were quickly approved and I picked up my card today and went and bought some meat.  It's actually probably not the best impulsive decision as 200 dollars of food a month does not go very far, especially in NYC.  But this is the way it is.  I will be back to beans the next trip to the store.  I will start trying to strategically mix home cooked meals, and food pantry stuff.  This is an issue for me though as I have these allergies.  If I want to be at my peek - the best position to get a job - I need to be able to get the right food in me.  But hey, I'll have to take what I can.  I stopped eating wheat for 3 or four days last week and started felling pretty good.  Even the bike accident injuries seemed to heel a bit.  But immediately, one weekend back eating wheat and I could completely see the difference, even started having issues with hypoglycemia again.

It is amazing what food insecurity does to people.  The system itself is set up in a way that does not put me in the best position to succeed.  If I had no dire need to find food and shelter, and could put my best foot forward, I would be able be the best I could be.  But that is not where I am right now.  So I have to take what I can get.  I am no longer able to support and provide for myself.  Hundred's of job applications in the last three plus years and little to show for it.  I have tried, and anyone that says otherwise I would love to have words with. 

But as of now, I am one of those many people out there on "entitlement programs".  One of those many that some how don't feel like they have to work hard, that can just skate by and live off everyone else's hard work, right?  Yeah, like facing death in West Africa to better your resume, trying to start businesses, non-profits, and volunteer endeavors, officiating girls lacrosse, selling shoes, applying to schools, etc.  If you think I haven't tried, haven't educated myself or worked my ass off to make a place for myself then you are out of touch with the world we live in.  I am not an exception, I am just another of millions - in fact billions - throughout the world that just want to work hard, and make a difference in their own and others lives through these efforts and the fulfillment of their abilities.  The world is failing us, just as I am failing in my job search and ability to support myself.  But hey, at least social services in New York City treated me with dignity and respect.  That is a far cry from the way social workers treat you upstate in Poughkeepsie. 

They haven't eaten all day...

Hhmmm... Can't figure out what to write for the title. I'm hungry. But not as much as these kids I'm staying with must be. I came home and usually there is food cooking or ready. Not today. No money was left for food today, so no food was to be had. They havn't eaten all day. They needed 7000 leones, $1.75 for all ten of us to eat. I gave them 10000, and it was like the alarm at the firestation had just rang. They all scatered, some for water, some for food, some to get the fire started. They were hungry, but with no complaints. This is life, their life. As the one person here said, we eat when there is food. Up to now there has been plenty, but not today... And now as I write this, it is raining. They cook outside over a fire, now they cook outside in the rain... Insult to injury...

It seems wrong to write about the other worries of my day now, but I will as it is one of the main things i'm here to do. Oh.. And pouring now!!

So I started early this morning. Straight to reading how bricks are made. Fun stuff!! ;) but whether I like bricks or not, I want to help, I want to rebuild, and this makes me a brick man for now!! I went over to the expat hangout again today. Its the only place with power, and I can blend in as if I'm a hotel guest. Pretty much only white contract workers there - to expensive for everyone else.

I spent the day reading about this machine we will hopefully get and taking this information and turning it into a business plan/costing sheet for Kaps and Kevin to research this week. We've got to get someone in here that knows how to make bricks though. It all has to be just right. They seem to think we can just make it happen, but we need expertise. And that is exactly what it is all about with this type of thing, its not whether you can do it, but whether you can get people together that can. I'm trying.

Otherwise it was like little England today. I was surrounded by bright white brits baking by the pool, and english premier league football (soccer). I wish I was surrounded by american football!! No such luck.

Very interesting these expats. Always talking about how great the "package" is. Here for short high paid stints. Not for a cause, not to help - at least much more than themselves. Not all, but virtually all. And not all brits here, but virtually all.

Africa minerals is building a single use train line from their Tonkolili iron mine (aparently will be the biggest iron mine in the world) straight to Freetown. No one else will use the train, only them. And it's immense. Looks like they are building a full interstate highway. And that's actually what the locals think. They think they'll get to use it. Nope. It is strictly so Africa Minerals can take down an entire mountain set, cart it to port, and ship it off to the highest bidder.

They've brought in workers from all over the world, even others from Africa, but don't seem to be using much from Sierra Leone. Rumor has it they will provide 11000 jobs, but I see few so far, I'm sure they will come. They will pay laborers to mine for 5000 leones a day - $1.25 - and then they will sell the iron for billions and make lots of people in the UK and wherever very rich. Taking Sierra Leone's resources and leaving only a few dollars behind for the people while they watch football and drink imported beer. There is something wrong with this, at least to me...