Beginnings and Ends

Day after day the hits keep coming...  I was still reading in bed this morning when I got an erroneous empty phone call followed by another full one from the Hiking Store I visited last night.  The woman went straight into an interview, as if I knew she was supposed to call.  Twenty minutes later I had to be in their store by 10:30 for an interview and was feeling like this woman was trying to push me in the door for labor day weekend!  So I got moving on my Chi Gung, meditated my self into an outdoor hiking spot and headed down there.  I'm a five minute bike ride away. 

The interview went well.  I mean, if there was anything my personality was made for it was retail.  Interacting face to face with people and trying to help them, too bad that little capitalism issue always gnaws at me!  lol.  But this place is a hybrid, the largest consumer cooperative in the US, and would be perfect for me.  I've actually been monitoring their website for months hoping for openings.  Plus, I've always done great in retail, so long as the emphasis is on helping people, not strictly sales numbers, and definitely not commission.  I feel that the push for "sales" takes away from the desire to help people solve the issue they came in the store looking to address.  The minute it's about money - as with anything - the best outcome for the person/customer somehow gets lost. 

I was interviewing for footwear which I've got several years of experience with in specialty shops.  I'm kind of keen on doing hiking and backpacking work, but I'll take whatever!  I always could branch out and cross-train a bit.  So, anyway, to the interview.  I thought it went really well.  The only hiccup was the what do you need to improve upon question.  I don't have my canned answer down for that on well enough yet.  I always come around to the same answer, but fumbled with it a bit.  I told them I had to find stability.  It was the first thing that came into my head and I spoke before thinking better.  It's my situation now, it's where I am.  I lack stability and its my biggest weakness right now.  The biggest issue I am fighting to address.  I played with the answer quickly, as that it has been my focus, but I don't think it was completely evident that it wasn't about innate self, but about current life situation.  I quickly transitioned to the main issue I've used before and have actually been addressing.   I tend to get into places and analyze and critique things deeply. I'm a born critical thinker, i.e. perfect as a consultant, but not always as a low man on the totem pole.  So what I have been working on is being better and more political in how I express my critiques - or if I even do at all.  I of course didn't get to that statement that quickly while there though.  But I will next time.  I've been working on it mentally all day now.  I hope it doesn't hurt me.  Everything else seemed to go really well.  We had positive interaction, smiles, affirmative nods throughout, etc.  I didn't talk much about the rest of my stuff, mostly sticking to my retail history. 

All together interviews are tricky.  I always used to nail them and get job offers on the spot, but lately since being back here in the US I haven't been getting jobs.  I mean its certainly also due to my qualifications not being quite directly on here in the US as so much of my experience is from abroad and on global issues.  But anyway, the whole job search process is tough.  It starts with your life on one or two pieces of paper based on a one or two piece of paper description of a whole nother life you want to lead and someone else is trying to convey in such a small space.  All of this in the hope of getting a half hour or so in front of a few people that will decided your fate based on every tick of your eye brow or expression on your face.  I couldn't imagine what It must be like to be someone that struggles with inter-personal stuff or pressure like that.  It's so sad too, because everyone shouldn't have to be like that.  Our variances as a species is our beauty, why should the process reward only those with certain skills? 

But anyway, this is retail, you've got to be personable.  So it's a good place for me.  So all smiles throughout, and I'm thinking they are trying to push this through. Then we come to a close with:

"We still have some other interviews to do, we'll let you know in a week or two."

Ugh.... a week or two, I'm ready now!  But I'll tell you what, if I can't get this job, I can't get one!!  A retail hiking store with conscientious principles a cooperative structure?  The job was made for me!  And yes, I do want it!!  It would start as part-time, but it would be a decent enough income, I could work up to more hours easily.  Then I'd have time to work on my other projects, and even still there would be room for advancement as well.  The one thing that does really concern me about the interview though is that I'll get pigeon-holed into running stuff or not considerd for other departments.  They have 14 spots advertised and three areas that I am very experienced at.  I just need one of them to fit. The issue though as I'm worrying about it, is that I went into that interview and was just myself.  My views, my ideals, and translated them to a retail setting - which has worked for me in the past very well.  But I'm worried, I have been having a tough run of things of lat with actually expressing my views in the real world.  I have become marginalized for my beliefs in many circles.  If I don't get this job as is, then the only avenue left for me will be to sit in those interviews and lie.  I don't think I can do that.  But anyway, I felt good abotu it all!!  And I think it will work out and I'll be working in another week or two!  :)   

Anyway, no resting on laurels as I have nothing yet.  The day goes on, more job searches, organize some UN apps, pull out the idealist.org postings from the last couple days.  But I find myself peeking more and more at the Occupy stuff.  September 17th is coming up and I've had to focus on this survival search so pointedly.  I'm feeling out of the loop and missing being involved.  But I can't focus on that, and there's other personal baggage there as well that makes it tough to be involved with right now.  So back to jobs!  I speak to the woman from the Children's agency I interviewed with a month back, she's gonna help me there as well, and now all of a sudden there's a stack of apps to get done! 

Then I get the email!!  KENYA!!!!!!  Nope, didn't get it, they wanted someone with more impact assessment experience and quantitative skills.  I figured, kinda knew it when I walked out of their office really.  And it makes it easier for me.  I don't know that I would have taken it anyway given all the other concerns about it.  But to turn down a job - no matter how rough it could be on me or my career - would have been tough to do.  Anyway, so I went for a run, sweated out all the world's chemicals, and will live to fight another day....  Oh, and I might have a place to stay next month!!  :) 

Nyanza!!

So I've been doing a fair share of research on this World Bank and Kenya situation, and things are seeming a bit ominous.  I just had two conversations with people in the industry that have both said stop, no, and don't!  That is added to the other two people in the industry that I have been speaking to that said not to as well.  This issue of "playing hardball" with the Kenyan government raises a lot of questions for me and them.  What is the issue here and why is this needed?  There are some other issues going on there within the organizations that I would be dealing with as well.  It's also coming up on an election there and will be rife with political turmoil.  This also piggy backs on violence following the last election.

This point was hammered home in a conversation tonight with an academic that works on Kenya.  She said not to go anywhere near this position, to turn and run away as fast as I can.  She questioned that if the World Bank is in the middle of turmoil there, is it something that a temporary consultant with two weeks to prepare can sort out?  Is it a position set up to fail?  When I walked out of the interview I thought to myself that this is the type of position that people with other opportunities turn down because they don't see how it is set up for them to succeed.  This was how I felt.  With the quantitative things they want of me, the support structure (not) there, and now as more information comes to light about the political and developmental situations there, it is tough to find justification for acepting such a position.

To me it really comes down to professional opportunity, and if it is the right thing for my career.  All four of my aquaintances said various mixes of why not to do it that included:

• I'd be better suited focusing on my network within international development circles here in NYC
• Would it be good for my career just because its Kenya?  I'd be doing impact evaluation and assessment, is this what I want my career to be?  Could be very easy to get pigeon-holed there.  Plus the World Bank doesn't have the best name in progressive circles.
• $40-45k for a consultancy position with little support and no in country set-up?  Nope.
• Too quick, too many problems, not enough information.... it sounds like they've gotten themselves into some trouble and are looking to throw some random consultant into the fire hoping to sort things out.  Maybe even that they can distance themselves if need be, knowing full well they're in trouble and up against a wall.
• It sounds like you're set up to fail...

I mean, it is tough for me to think through in this capacity.  My gut tells me not to do it.  My aspiration and passion says it'd be great.  My network says no, yet my mind is back and forth.  I have to admit though that since not getting the Think Tank job I have been able to just assess my life versus this job, as opposed to job versus job.  And it is tough, I so desperately need a job, but do I need to go to Kenya to get one?  And does it need to be one that I seem set up to fail in?  But hey, I haven't been offered the position yet, and given what I'm hearing, maybe its best not to be.  It would save me from having to make a really tough decision. 


 

Executive Assistance

So I finally had an interview.  Three actually.  I had one with the World Bank that I will discuss in detail another time, and then a first and second round interview with a "liberal" think tank here in NYC.  No no, it wasn't to actually be think tanking, but to work as an executive assistant to three of the top people in the company.  A foot in the door and an honest day's pay.  But I didn't get the job.  Yeah, it doesn't matter that I would be great at it, or that it would be a fabulous foothold in a place that could offer both a career for me and a better understanding of how a think tank works should we desire to turn the Occupy Think Tank into a funded endeavor.  No all that matters I guess is that I didn't get it.  Why?!  I don't know, but I'm going to speculate.

I'm overqualified.  Would I stay?  Can I actually do the job being that my history doesn't show I've done it?  Those were the types of questions being asked in the second interview.  The first phone interview went well.  It was a little labored at first, but eventually hit a groove.  I liked the woman I would be working for.  I think she liked me enough as well - after all she brought me in for a second interview with the team.  But the woman at the head of operations didn't seem to feel the same.  I felt it during the interview, and completely knew it as I walked back into their office following my "test".  What can I do?  Again, it doesn't matter whether I can or want to do the job, its whether they think I can - or more importantly it seems "would". 

Hell yeah I would have!  People don't understand what life is like right now for many people.  I am applying for a job assisting positions that I have done because I WANT TO.   I want a job, I want stability, and I thought this place would be great for that.  What job I do doesn't matter as much as being able to be a part of something I believe in while getting a solid days work done, especially if there is room to eventually move there.  Frankly, I can do any of these jobs.  I'm sorry to say this, but that job was not difficult.  That may sound arrogant, but yeah, I'm a smart, educated guy.  Yes, I don't have experience working simultaneously for three different executives and juggling their needs, but I do have experience juggling a world so far more complex than three executive's and an office's needs.  And I do not mean for that to belittle this position, just to state unequivocally that I could do this work.  But I don't think that was the problem, they know I can do this work.  They think I'm overqualified because my resume has "higher" positions on it.  Or maybe its because I have more ambition than just being an executive assistant.  But who takes a job like that wanting nothing more - ever?  Not to mention that the people that have experience working as an executive assistant for three people would still be in that position if A, they were really good at it, and B they wanted to do it. 

The fact is that "qualified" is subjective.  It has nothing to do with the past, and everything to do with the present.  The current job market doesn't care what I've done in the past, it cares what positions there are right now and what jobs I can actually get.  Right now, I am an entry level to late entry level worker.  I know this.  Save a handful of jobs a year that I probably will never know exist, I am only qualified for jobs I am "overqualified" for.  Because the job advertisement's I'd BE qualified for on paper are the ones I'm under qualified for in today's job market given the other applicants being "overqualified" for those positions!  I accept that, why don't you?

These companies don't realize that they can get better employees than they once could for these positions.  That's where the labor market is right now.  It's actually the way capitalism is SUPPOSED to work.  Excess labor creates competition, which spurs training and personal inovation, lowers wages, and always leaves a group of people to replace others should they ask for wage increases or better working conditions.  We can all be let go, its why we work 80 hour weeks for one person's pay.

You can get me at a bargain, that's what the market bares.  Yet, you somehow think I won't take it or won't stay.  Yeah, if one of the job applications I put in at the UN came though I might take it.  But they are temporary positions, and I don't want to be looking for work again in 4 months.  I want to work.  I want to do something I believe.  Those are my two conditions.  This job provided both - PLUS a chance at a future!  So sad that they didn't see what I could offer, or maybe that I couldn't sell them what I would offer.  Either way though, I am now still unemployed, still searching, still wondering when people are going to figure it out...  That I have a lot more to offer than they want.   

The World Bank

So I had the interview with the World Bank today. Took the bus down to DC from NYC in the morning, met an old friend for lunch and then hit the interview.  Headed back now on the bus.  Bottom line is that I don't know that I could pass up this opportunity, but that I don't really want to go, nor do I know that I am actually the right person for this job.  But I suppose I should start at the beginning of the interview. 

It was myself and two other guys. We hit it off right off the bat. Immediately developing a report. It turns out that I was pretty much hand picked out of the stack of resumes. This project in Kenya has apparently been having a problem in relation to the government. Apparently they usually take people for these positions that are phd students in economics that can just come in and do the research. This position in Kenya is apparently different though, and they want someone a little older with management experience and the capacity to either demand or garner respect more readily both through demeanor and experience. They seemed to think I was an ideal fit for this on paper, and expressed mid-way through the interview that I seemed just right for it.... then... they started asking the technical research based quantitative questions.

Basically, the job itself would be to oversee a huge operation. I would be overseeing the entire field assessment project for to educational programs in this region of Kenya and all of the data collection. Over 50 schools for just one of the two programs and a research company with a team of some 50 plus people, and several local personnel directly working with me on the local environment and cultural aspects of the study. Then additional, I would be working directly with the Kenyan government, the World Bank, their implementation team, local universities, researchers in the US, and who knows whatever else.

This project has also been going on for 4 years and has yet to have an impact assessment due to these issues they seem to be facing with the Kenyan Government. My roll would be to be able to come in and "play hardball” and get this thing done.  I actually kind of think this may be a great thing for me managerially and in terms of my interpersonal skills and ability to softly be assertive, but it also begs the question "why?"  Why do you need to play hardball with the Kenyan government?  This needs a lot more research and assessment.  Also, while I am managing all of these people, I would still have to be setting up and running a data collection operation using quantitative skills that I have not used in a number of years. I have spent most of my time working with qualitative methods and more culturally sensitive approaches. Listening to people rather than giving them questionnaires and codes. My job here would be to set up the questionnaires and finalize them. I would have local assets to help bring cultural relevance to the project. Most importantly though, I will be working on generating the sample sizes and and orchestrating their adherence, helping implement and design the entire research project. This is something that I have not done on this type of level.

I suppose I need more information as to what type of support structure I would have there to get this done before I could say that I felt comfortable that I could definitely succeed in this job. I of course believe that I can do anything. I can learn/refresh these research skills quickly and easily. I also think that they would be tremendously benefited by the other skills that I bring in research terms and my ability to think against the grain and outside the box. But ultimately, they need the data sets to be flawless. Can I guarantee this will happen? Can they be certain of this? This is the crux of it all and I'm not sure what they will think. But if they chose me, it is because they think that I am the best person for the job. I would have to take that as confidence in my capacity to make this research project happen. I know I could manage it. And I know I could be a part of designing and implementing the research design. However, if I am responsible for doing this on my own, then I would have to think about whether its the best thing for me.

There is of course another factor with this: the compensation. I was thinking that the World Bank would send you abroad with a solid support structure behind you. An expat type structure with housing, stipend, etc. Nope. They fly you there and put you in a hotel for a week or two while you find your own accommodation and get things set up there by yourself. Really? The World Bank?!?! And then they pay exactly the same as the admin assistant job I just interviewed for in NYC? $40-45?!!? Really?!? That project described above and the same pay to shuffle documents and flight itineraries for three executives? Yeah the cost of living is obviously different, but still, it's a temporary position that I don't even think now comes with benefits, insurance, a computer, whatever. I have a lot more questions about this. Is there an office? How do I set up a life, internet, communications, etc. You just want me to be able to drop myself down in Kenya and make shit happen at the high level that the World Bank requires? This can't be right. Any company I've ever known of any salt helps you get set up, or at least outsources it for you. Some assistance.  If is that's ll you get though, it truly must take one hell of a special breed of person to be able to do this in random and different countries in the world. I just don't think it can be right and goes against what I've heard about them in the industry.   There must at lest be someone there to help.

But that is to be seen I guess. When I am offered a job, I can start discussing that. But it is a discussion I will definitely be having if offered. Because if I have to set up my whole life there on my own from day one, jet lagged, unfamiliar, and with no support, their project is going to suffer. It is one thing to show up in Prague and figure it out, China, Sierra Leone, etc, when you don't have anything you have to get done that day. But there..... I step off the plane and its go time. Get the project up and running, while you look for a place to live and a life all with no help. Would be amazing. If I could do that, I could do anything.

Options

So the world is out there right? And despite not really having anything going on that seems remotely like "gainful employment", it doesn't matter, cause there are plenty of other things in the works.  I have the following opportunities right now:

• Two months in Tanzania building an educational program
• My work in Sierra Leone
• A possible job doing food justice education in the Bronx for a Children's organization
• The sustainable Occupy project
• I have work on the private military and security companies with the UN Watchdog
• I've got applications in at the UN
• Other job apps in
• I've got the application in at the World Bank
• And maybe substitute teaching come October

Tough times and tough decisions to get into, but all the same excitement and stress at the same time!! :)

Fuckin A!!

So yeah, I've been piecing things together and starting to feel quite comfortable in the directions things are going.  I was going to have maybe 10 hours of nannying a week and 8 hours on Sundays at a farmers market to supplement it all.  These gave me a little something to sustain life with while working to find more work and make other things work out.  The farmers market was in this incredible workers cooperative and had soooo much potential to become something more, something that I might even be able to bring into my other projects and incorporate it all together.  But the they just had money stolen, like thousands of dollars that is needed to prepay for produce.  So it has to close as it can't buy veggies for this week.  It may not be permanent.  But a days worth of work for good pay and produce.  Gone.  The hiking store doesn't pay, the political party is compromised and ethically devoid, nannying..... Well that's good.  But its over tomorrow.  A few hours a week still maybe.  Before I had a couple things, now I have to really get after it again.  Why do all these things keep falling apart?  What is it that make businesses so hard to maintain here?  So many people trying to make ends meet, so few managing to do it.  If you have any ethical bone in you, you have to compromise it jsut to make ends meet.  So sad.

Farming for More Markets

So I started a new job yesterday... Yes another one.  Another look into another part of the world that lives around us.  This time I am working at a farmers market.  Not a typical one, but one that more or less acts as a Sunday organic market.  It has a pretty unsound business model, but the absolute best of intentions.  It is part of a workers cooperative, or at least will be some day.  The building is designed as such for the long term, but not wholly there yet.  Anyway, it is very interesting to see the world that exists there.

The business itself is a bit of a mess.  It is retail sales of a mostly perishable food supply, that only opens once a week, thus making the p in perishable capital.  They are losing money hand over foot in an endeavor designed to make money for the workers co-op. They are working on tweaking it into a collective kitchen project. There are some remnants of occupy style endeavors. People with the warmest of hearts and best of intentions, trying to do something that they only partially know how to.  Like occupiers trying to organize people or labor without talking to labor organizers or having experience at it, trying to run a retail produce business with knowledge of produce but no experience with retail business is tough, ambitious, comendable... but lacking in efficiency and know how.

All the same I think they are evolving and working to really do good things. The co-op set up is great, and if they add a kitchen that serves food daily they could end up with an outlet for food bought for a Sunday that won't last till the next one.  There also is a very strong personality coming with it that on first glimpse seems to be maybe too strong and independent. Not that there is not tremendous need to respect both this person and the project as they are doing it.  They've done good things, but there is always more to it all than that. We shall see, but another job, another day, another way.  Cooperative worker owned structures are great, I am excited to be a part of the beginning stages of something like this, and to have more work...