Another day in the life...

And as is life... with every positive, there must always be a negative, for you can not have one without the other as life could then never find its balance...

The day (Friday) was going so well.  I had been in the city in the morning, walked across Manhattan, gotten my visa... jumped on a train back upstate, and even got to Beacon and found NO parking ticket for my forced night in the city!!  Good stuff.  I said my hello's to my people in Beacon, went into Mountain Tops and poked around, tried on the Vibram treks, chatted it up, and then headed out.  I grabbed a snack on my way towards taking the scenic route through Wiccopee and where the Appalachian trail runs through it on my way home.  Sun was out, gorgeous autumn day.  Upon getting in, my new phone was there.  I spent the next couple hours trying to figure out what the heck all this technology stuff was, and then headed off to spend some time with my grandparents...

Whoops..  Half way there... CRASH!!  I got in a car accident.  I completely wrecked my car in a three car accident.  Everyone else there seemed to by OK (some nice people I might add which don't deserve to have had their day and car's in shambles).  I certainly seemed to get the worst of it, both personally and for my car.  I just sat there completely dazed...  what and end to a day, to a lot really.  But I'll be fine, I've had worse collisions on the football field - and one only a couple of weeks ago.  

The real travesty in all this though is to my psyche and life scenario.  I have struggled for years in always putting my principles and ideals so much above life's practicalities.  Always "living in the world as I want it to be" - which I completely believe in and will continue to do.  No matter what general practices are, I will do everything I can to be honest and ethical, even at my own expense - which it usually seems to be.  This makes life very difficult.  People don't pay people to be nice.  I carry different priorities than most and as a result I tend to have to struggle.  Here I am unemployed, looking for work for over a year, on food stamps, in the application process for Medicaid, and still struggling to put together the funds to go on a three month humanitarian trek in West Africa - a smaller part of my incessant effort to try to make a difference.  All the while I am fielding questions about "what I am thinking", "what is wrong with me", "why can't I just balance my ideals with real life?" (i.e. compromise them).  I am pretty much standing on my own to try to make a difference.  (yes, I do have some great support from a few... you know who you are!!)

Anyway, I have been running completely against the grain for years, I have no money, that car was my only real asset, I am staying with my parents, taking state assistance (and hearing about it from people), and all the while trying to make the world a 'better' place for the future of humanity, and to get myself better qualified to do this.  But I just... can't... catch a break.  Living in the Hudson Valley you have to have a car.  I am already losing friends and contacts because I live a long way away from people and am not in a position to spend money on gas versus money on this project.  Yet, if I take a job for a couple weeks or take a job that sacrifices time and compromises principles, then I am not living by my beliefs or example.  Now, with no car and no public transportation in the area, I am in a really tough spot.  Never mind when I return.  I had work set up, but now have no car.  It changes things.  I had security to return to from this incredibly insecure venture.  Now, I almost have to either come back from Sierra Leone with a job here, or find one there.  Both my personal and emotional safety nets vanished into the back of that minivan...

But it is tough times that challenge us and make us stronger.  I feel at times like I am doing nothing but "training" to make myself stronger, yet I'm never actually getting to use my strength.  I just can't find that place within the system that allows me to shine and do the type of work I believe in and am capable of.  That day, of course, will come... but it wasn't yesterday...  ;) 

One step at a time...

AT near Depot Hill

So yeah, I'm still functioning pretty slowly here.  This neck injury has completely thrown me off my game.  Struggled with things this weekend.  But I woke up today and got my self out into the woods despite whatever my neck feels like).  I really struggle when I can't exercise and run.  So I decided to take the hammock out and see what the deal was.  I gave myself a good mile and half (2km) hike uphill into the woods (gotta get some work in for my legs), then I followed a little side trail for a bit and set up my hammock.

I am quite impressed.  Once you get the hang of it all it goes up quickly.  It was more complicated finding the right spot than setting it up: how thick are the trees, how far apart are they, are there any other anchors for the flaps to tie on to, etc.  Of course the knots were tricky, but you know you can always make a knot that holds.. maybe not get it appart, but it'll hold!!  ;)  Anyway, I got it set up, and then spent a little time 'tweaking' it before I settled in for a bit of light afternoon reading/napping and chi gung.

It is pretty comfortable, and much more spacious than I anticipated.  I pictured myself mummy shaped with barely a turn allowed, but it was exactly the opposite.  I was on my back, my side, diagonal, knee or legs open, even on my stomach for a bit, there was plenty of room.  It is a bit tricky moving around though, but this may just be me being overly careful, as I just can't imagine the tiny little ropes would hold a whole lot of bouncing.

The temperature wasn't even 80F (25C), but the hammock definitely provided a bit more warmth than outside, and with the leg room I had I can't imagine I'd want to restrictive of a sleeping bag.  I would definitely need something underneath me though as there isn't much there in terms of insulation or mosquitos.  I may do well with just a lightweight wool blanket that could go under and over me as needed, and one of those silk sleeping bag liners.  This could give me some good versatility, and would be cheaper than the bag.

All told it was a good afternoon, five hours out and about, did some reading and slept for a bit.  It felt good, so I'm quite comfortable with it moving forward as my place to sleep.  I'm looking forward to getting 'off the grid' here though and on my own, in a new place where I can learn new things and help people.    

My Neck!! My Neck and my Back!!

Nothing serious...  at least compared to what it could have been.  So after six hours in the emergency room I finally got a diagnosis.  Amazing though that given all my time in Eastern Europe that I never had to wait so long for care.  No wait to get a room though, just then sat and waited... and waited... with empty rooms around me... Still though, I'm thinking the service I got was probably more than I can expect in Sierra Leone should something happen...  ;)

Dazed and Cufnused...

Anyway, so that american football game the other day proved to be more of a nuisance than a real problem.  Officially, I have a sprained neck/back.  No serious/permanent damage to my spine.  The doctor said maybe a little tearing of ligaments, which I thought was a big deal, but he said wasn't really evident in the scan and would be miniscule and not really any issue if that small.  As it is, I have to rest, take an anti-inflammatory, heat and stretch the area, and can run when "the pain is 80% of what it is today..."  What?!?  Yeah, I guess that means I can run when I feel like it...  lol.

I did find it quite interesting that after claiming he had spent some time working with alternative and eastern remedies in his career, that the doc was both amused and dismissive when I said I would use bromelain (which is a natural substance derived from pineapples that he had never heard of) as an anti-inflammatory instead of Advil (he'd never even heard of arnica either).   I can't understand the arrogance of western medicine as it looks at other options.  I mean Western medicine has a profound place in the treatment of illness and affliction, but how as a medical practitioner can someone not at least be interested and open-minded to other possible ways to treat people and make them better?  If it works it works, who cares where it comes from or if the FDA says it work??  

But all told, the good thing about all that waiting in the ER was that I got a lot of reading and note-taking done.  I am almost finished going through my guidebook on Sierra Leone for my itinerary.  Granted its not geared to find key socio-economic areas/opportunities and concerns, as it is after all designed to sell the country for tourism  The econ part of my agenda will take a bit more work, but I am starting to see the journey on paper, and it is going to be ambitious to do everything on foot.  But then again... what fun would it be if it wasn't ambitious?   ;)  I'll finish up the guidebook part of it and post it later.  Finally, starting to feel like my head might be coming back to me...  been an odd week...